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The Eternal Internal War

Note: I rarely let people read what I write, but I hope this will help improve my skills. I based this off of how I handle my mental illness.

 

Every morning, I ready myself for the fight. I wind my hair in tight, valkyrie braids and paint my face. I decorate my eyes in bright blues, golds, reds, or violets and line them with black ending in crisp points at each side. I paint my lips a deep red and adorn my ears with metal. I do all of this in preparation for the day to come.

 

As I go through my day, I’m plagued by my shadows. They whisper poison in my ear, usher in lies, give me every worst-case scenario, telling me everyone around me is an enemy. There is no rhyme or reason, it’s only purpose is to torment me. Tiny green ovals keep them mostly at bay, but at times I must retreat to a place where I am alone.

 

Everyday, I fight this fight. I don’t know where I am in this constant war. Somedays I succeed and gain more ground within myself, while others end up burying me, breaking me, drowning me. I will never be able to win; the shadows are a part of me. However, I refuse to lose. Even when I’m too tired to walk, too dizzy to stand, too anxious to get out of bed, I must go on. I must believe tomorrow will be better.

 

Tomorrow will be better.

This is a great story and the title sounds really good when you read it aloud.

Every morning, I ready myself for the fight. I wind my hair in tight, valkyrie braids and paint my face. I decorate my eyes in bright blues, golds, reds, or violets and line them with black ending in crisp points at each side. I paint my lips a deep red and adorn my ears with metal. I do all of this in preparation for the day to come.

I love how you described getting ready in the morning like preparing for war.  It shows how staring the day is more than just putting on makeup and jewelry, but something that feels difficult and daunting.

As I go through my day, I’m plagued by my shadows. They whisper poison in my ear, usher in lies, give me every worst-case scenario, telling me everyone around me is an enemy. There is no rhyme or reason, it’s only purpose is to torment me. Tiny green ovals keep them mostly at bay, but at times I must retreat to a place where I am alone.

I don't want to assume what the tiny green ovals represent, and maybe you wanted to keep that ambiguous.  But I thought maybe they represented pills, sorry if I'm wrong.  You wouldn't want to be too outright, but if you wanted maybe you could add a little more description or maybe what you're doing with them.  I also think it would be cool if you could describe a couple more mundane everyday tasks in that intense, foreboding way you described getting ready.  No matter what this is a great story and you are definitely talented.  Thank you for sharing!

@leigha Thank you for the input! Reading it back, I definitely could have described somethings better. I agree that I could've put more details into the daily routine of having to cope with mental illness. I didn't think about it, but I could have expanded upon how I get to the point of needing to leave the room and calm myself down.

And yeah, the green ovals are my meds. I wanted to put those in there to show that while people with mental health problems do get help, help doesn't make the problem magically go away. Sometimes, your meds and coping skills work and sometimes you run off into the bathroom at work because you're on the brink of a panic attack (Totally not specific or anything...).

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